The Greatest of These is Love

New Year, New Post, No New York

2006-01-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

What is up? I figured the least I could do was post for the new year. Nothing really worth saying, I wouldn't think, come on, what is the life of one guy? Heh, I do have many things to think about in the new year, including, college, job, girlfriend and more. Yet, with all the things I get the chance to worry about, comes all the things I don't have to worry about. Worrying gets me nowhere but I do it more then most other things. Pray? Why pray when I can worry?? I mean really, I'm a senior in Highschool, workign on my second year of community college, I'm sitting on a pretty good GPA, but I didn't do SAT's out of laziness as well as scholarships, so my next year will be interesting. I'll probablly finish up a degree at EVCC, but still. I mean I have plenty of worries on my mind. At least plenty of options to worry. The question is how I handle it. Prayer or Worry. and Really, One option leads me to a better life with God, another leads me to a futility of thinking that too many find their minds taking. I can't tell anyone what I will do because I don't assume to know myself as well as I should. But I can say I do have one prayer above the rest adn taht is for prayer this year. I look forward to seeing how this year pans out and where my life ends up. God bless you all, and see you next post around.

Signing out,

Ray Ray

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Shawn McDonald \ Take My Hand
Take my hand to the promise land
And on You I want to stand
‘Cause I cannot do it on my own
You're what I need and I need to be
Right by Your side ‘cause I cannot hide
Lord, I know that I need You

Na na na na na na na na na, I need You
Na na na na na na na na na, I need You

Without You I'm so aloneI am weak but You are strong
You pick me up when I'm falling down And I am crying
Out to You inside of my heart I need You, Lord, oh so, for the part
I want You to have my life, Jesus
I fall to my knees
And I'm begging You, please, oh, Lord
Won't You change me
Make me new from the inside out
I want to shout out Your name

For The Patient

2005-11-16T23:16:00.000-08:00

My life has been maturing and growing and I thank those around me who have asked and care about me. No matter what my struggles are, I have been getting through them, and though I forsee more, I know it will come and I'll be okay. I've been going to EVCC and learning alot, this has been one of my favorite quarters, mainly because of my ASL class. Learning to sign and learnign the Deaf Culture has been one of the most fun things and eye opening things I have been able to do. I'd say there is only one thing that is more important then that, and that has made this a great quarter, and that is that I now have a very wonderful and beautiful girlfriend in Sheliah. I thank her so much for all she does, and thank God for all He does with us. I figured I hadn't wrote in here for awhile, I thought I'd throw in some info while I'm here. Oh, I should probally add, like ya'll don't know yet, but I am now employed by Let's Dish, same place as Katie, and I can thank her for the job (telling me about it :) ) and its been a blessing to me and my parents for me to actually be workin now. Anyways, have a good night everybody. Sleep well.

Peace from your brother,

Ray Ray

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Sunshine Lyrics
From The Boy Vs. The Cynic

It’s one of these moments in life when you feel incapable
I try to hide but the feelings inside are sort of inescapable
And everything that I’ve become suddenly feels replaceable
Now I’m left in my inadequacy, you get the point
All my goals seem out of reach and unattainable
Your thoughts get lost in the shuffle and become unexplainable
No words to match the emotion that I’m roller coasting on
Just words of devotion
Hope that someday soon they’ll be gone like that
Come on now

I know lessons are learned through perseverance and
I know I grow and I can adhere to this
It’s just hard sometimes to keep yourself a good perspective
But God controls the hands of time
And when the time is right I’ll be perfected

Even when what lies ahead seems so unbearable
God’s grace is still so remarkable
Yeah I can face anything
With the faith that exceeds time and space
Give me the strength to change the pace
Cuz I’ve been burning on energy That was meant to be directed differently
No wonder we find ourselves empty
Worn out and burned out with how things have turned out
We’ve learned how to cope
But this whole thing is broke down and not working
Typical earthling searching for a system
A coping mechanism
Listen hey
We’re not meant to carry the load
Or bear these burdens on our own
I’m tired of living in survival mode
I’m gonna give it up and let it go

I know lessons are learned through perseverance and
I know I grow and I can adhere to this
It’s just hard sometimes to keep yourself a good perspective
But God controls the hands of time

Give me some sunshine
Give me some sunshine Give me some sunshine
Clear my mind
And in the meantime
I know that I’m, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be just fine

No Fun Title Here

2005-08-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

If anyone's listening, I'm still here, I usually am. I usually start a blog and then lose focus and don't post. Happens often. If I posted everythign I thought, and everythign I wanted... I'd have written a book by now. Its hard sometimes, because I wanna write, I wanna let things out that I've been thinking, and then I end up thinking too much. I get concerned, I mean, really, am I writing for me, for the people who will read this, should I be talking to people instead of writing this? So, for whoever reads this, Thanks, I should of stopped my worrying awhile ago.

Ya know, I find myself oft concerned with this world. It's so much fun sometimes, ain't it? I mean, it can be. There's baseball, and games, and pool, and poker. There is a judging eye behind every man, and it feels good when I see jealousy or acceptance or respect from them. I enjoy it when I feel like I fit in, and when I've grown up so often secluded and enjoying what I've got, I've chosen the last few months to go out and get what I want. Not what I need, not what is nesscessarily good for me... but what I want. I want respect? I'll get it. I want acceptance? I can sing and dance like Donny and Marie on steroids when it comes to pleasing others. I can see I do it way to often too. I don't stand up for what I should, and though I know what I believe, I'd rather take the easy road and wait for them to ask me, then to make it my issue and bring it up.

This world has nothing for me, but it does have everything. My friend Tony sung that Caedmon's song at his "farewell" small group night. He had a few songs picked out but that was the one he wanted to sing. It was his choice of wise words. and I'm glad he chose that one, 'cause it's truth, hard truth but truth none the less.

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

I just remembered this song, and Tony singing it, and so it fit with what I was thinking of. Chasing after this world, and all it has to offer, which in the end is nothing. It has everythign our flesh could want, but our flesh is going to burn ... so if you chase the flesh, realize your chasing ... fire. Things that have no meaning, no reality, no eternity.

Andrew Peterson sings a song, "The Chasing Song" hehe, it works, but in it he sings about this. Lyrics to that is at the bottom of this post. But he sings of all the things that the men of the Bible chased, and how all he ever seems to chase is himself. Its hard to look at the long distance, eternal view in the world, 'cause it built to please the now, the instant, the present. And we as Christians are supposed to suffer through this world, and wait for the eternal. Not to say, ignore this world and then you die... but to say that, if we aren't supposed to live like the world... why am I? I'd say the answer is one of my weakest points in Christianity...and thats pride. Which at my youth group, Micah talked about. Living humbly. Its what I need. I can't take the looks people give me when I'm not doing what they expect me to. I can't stand not getting their approval. and I need to be better, bigger, stronger, cooler... My pride has been fed by me for awhile and it has grown. I pray that I can come out the other side of this season, stronger and closer to God then before. I just pray that God will take me from this pride all together.

Hey, so I jumped topics a bit, what do you expect, I haven't said anythign in awhile. I had to catch up. I'd appricate any prayer you could give for me, I love ya all.

Ray Ray

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Now and then these feet just take to wandering
Now and then I prop them up at home
Sometimes I think about the consequences
Sometimes I don't Well, I realize that falling down ain't graceful
But I thank the Lord that falling's full of grace
Sometimes I take my eyes off Jesus
And you know that's all it takes

Well, I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I'm behaving

'Cause Job, he chased an answer The wise men chased the Child
Jacob chased her fourteen years And he captured Rachel's smile
And Moses chased the Promised Land Joseph chased a dream
David, he chased God's own heart All I ever seem to chase is me

Well, they say a race can only have one winner
And you know you've got to pull out front to win
God knows the only time I'm winning Is when I'm chasing Him

So, I wish that I could say that at the close of every day
I was happy with the way that I'm behaving
'Cause Samson chased a woman And he chased the Phillistines
I'm not quite sure what Jonah chased But I know he caught the sea
And Cain, he chased the harvest While Abel chased the beasts
David, he chased God's own heart All I ever seem to chase is me

And Jesus chased the money men And He chased His Father's will
He chased my sin to Calvary And He caught it on that hill
And Saul, he chased the Christians 'Til his blindness made him see
David, he chased God's own heart
All I ever seem to chase is me

Actions speak louder...

2005-06-13T14:41:00.000-07:00

If actions speak louder then words...why are we all so quiet?

...How much courage does it take to go and act on the love we have for one another?

How often are we stuck in ourselves and fear and whatever..... that we can't help anyone else. If we see a man in trouble, is it easier to pray from a distance or get up and help him? Aren't we naturally inclined to take the easy way out, even if it is...spiritual?

How often do we talk ourselves out of DOING something? How often do we blame others from not doing things that we can do? "Hey, someone really has to help that guy..."

Not everyone can do things in every situation... There are situations when prayer is the best option, of course, but ... that doesn't mean prayer is always the only option.

Aren't we called to love our neighbors as we love ourself, and we know that no man has ever hated his own flesh.

In that love, is it too hard to act on it? I myself am as guilty as everyone else, and am I doing much better by just sitting here and writing this? No. But I just want it known, and out there, that we are not to be lazy people, we are not to stand in the back. We are to act, we are to stand out.

When we see brothers, sisters, elders... friends, foes, enemies and allies... we don't have to just stand in the back, we don't have to just pray for someone to help them... more often then we let ourselves think, we can do things just as much as the next person.

We can make a difference in this world, we are called to make a difference in this world... and that involves action.

If actions speak louder then words....

Let us shout.

2005-05-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better It went from no way never
to okay whatever, Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me I can’t catch up stuck in a rut
I went too willingly these thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t Or can I?
Man I’m gone I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget” but I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Well, sorry for who I’ve become I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability, It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me? I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long, I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I’ll see you when I’m better

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John Reuben has always found ways to impress me, and this is another one of those times when I'm looking for a way to express what I'm feeling, and when my words, my rhymes can't match up, and can't fill in the emotions inside, I seem to be able to see John's words describe me for me. As I've thanked every other artist that's been able to picture my points with music, I thank Reuben for finding the right words for me.

- Ray Ray

Somewhere only we know....

2005-05-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

I sat down, and pumped up some music. Nothing too special, just some random, raaandom things. I'm a random guy, spontaneous, at least as of late, anyway, and so, what song comes up?...well, if you haven't guessed by my title, it's Keane's "Somewhere only we know" a somewhat sad tale, but it made me think...

When we, youth, younger people, ...under 20. :-P Grow up and look back at these times... what will we see? What will be the shining memories of which we regale the perked ears of our friends? Its amazing when I think about it. The things I will be talking about, sharing, teaching in twenty years, is being made...now. I look at what I've already made and I wonder. Some are really great and fun, like the Snow Retreats and Creations....well most of the time in them anyways. And others... I just know I'll hopefully use to benefit others. I already made an A paper out of my freshman crush and heartbreak. I was quite happy about that.

But what about tommorrow? what I am going to spend my time doing? I don't know. I'll go to a birthday party, I'll do my monolgues for college... how many things will I be doing in ignorance of God, and how many things will I be praying that I don't let my kids through later?

That even opens up the topic of, how many things are just learned the hardway? I've gone through stupid crushes, we all have, and don't we wish that we don't have to see others go through it? When I look at a Junior Higher or even a highschool relationship, I have to bite my lip sometimes because I know that ... its gonna hurt in the end more times then not... but there is little to nothing you can say to stop it, you can just pray. Not to say that it's a bad idea to confront others when you see things worth confronting... but sometimes its just hard to know what to say.

I know that I have so much learning yet to do, and so many memories, heartbreak, joyous laughter, painful tears... The only solice really, is that in the darkest of moments, God is there. When I fall, God will catch me. When I can't walk, His footprints show that He carries me. When I laugh, He is there with me, when I am in Christ, God is rejoicing with me... The knowledge that God is with us, and will never forsake us... The true, true knowledge of that... gives peace in a way that no earthly thing has to offer. God bless.

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Memories light the corner of my mind
Misty water color memories
Of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind,
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then,Or has time rewritten every line? If we had the chance to do it all again, Tell me? would we? could we? Memories may be beautiful and yet,What's too painful to remember We simply choose to forget.
So it's the laughter We will remember,Whenever we remember
The way we were; The way we were.
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Some old school tunes. Any of you who know the artist, I'm impressed. And if some of you are going, "that sounds familar..." with a deja-vuish feeling... you probablly saw "Big" with Tom Hanks, he sings it in it

Loving God for His utmost Himness,
Ray Ray

Jam-Packed, Slammed-Back

2005-04-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Wow, well, I'm normally pretty good at taking some time off from everything to make a post or to just chill out, but I've had a fun, wild, sad, crazy, up and down, rollercoaster, watch the world when it spins, when it whirls, when it twirls... kinda weekend. Not something you quickly forget, so I figure I'll take some time and gracefully review. I do make a warning, this isn't an important post, its just a "Ray wants to write down what he did." post. If your curious, then read on.

Friday morning, I was thinking a head for the Banquet that night, and so I went to school, but didn't realize that I had some things I was supposed to print out for Drama class, and that I had a Psychology quiz. So after stressing my way through a quiz and a monologue rehersal (something I'll blog later, its so cool), I got home in time to give my parents car back to them, and visit with my grandparents who were visiting for the weekend, and basically I got home and then finished the arrangements for the night, got ready, and left. So, almost non-stop flow of activity up through 3. Then I went to Lisa's and said Hi after getting all snazzied up, got a few pictures, then went and picked up Reb and Deb, got to the school and pretty much from then until... 12:40-50ish just had a blast of a time hanging out, watchin plays and movies and enjoyin all the fun outfits that everyone wore.

Day Numero Dos. Well, I was iffily waking up the next day, enjoying my rest, when my dad comes in around 10 and tells me that he's looking to get a car, we're gonna eat breakfast and try and get there by around 12. (It was only in everett but my mom needed to goto the store, as did my dad) so, eventually around 12:30-1 we drive around some back streets in Everett and found the house we were looking for. It was a friend of my dad's and he was selling a 91' Infiniti G20. Well, it didnt' take long for my dad to like it, my mom to love it and myself to... I dunno but I was giggling alot. err.. manly laughing in a repetitive manner. whatever that is. so yeah. My parents bought me a nice car and I drove it away, cruised on the freeway, stopped and saw a bit of my friends, then went to a barbeque for my grandparents at my cousins, then went to a friends and watched a movie.

That saturday night I had a sad realization of neglection of Christ in my life, and spent some time with a friend talking it through. Eventually I went home and slept. Woke up the next day, went to church, showed off the new car :P, learned about how I'll live my life, rich or poor, then die, went home and had another barbque/openhouse with my parents friends, played some Texas Hold'em with friends that came over with them, then went back over to a friend's house, worked out more of the stuff that had been going on, then I went to the Fo'shousal of da Higgins, and basically got flattened all night by people thinking that I'm a human.. Football Tackle thingy. I dunno. then I went home and took a shower at like 11 at night, and didn't get to bed until around 12:30.

....I woke up, went to school in my new car, had an not so fulfilling day, then realized I have a bumload of homework that needs to be done by thursday/friday. Which means it has to be done today and tommorrow 'cause Wednesday's I use as an off day.

Hm. well, that was one of my busiest weekends in a while, I can understand how people do it all the time though, even more downer parts are learning experiences and God will use. Anyways, why did I write all that down? 'cause well, I've been thinking about it for awhile. I don't know really what to say. This isn't a typical blog, its mostly for my benefit of remembering and getting it out there. Hm. You know what? I did all that...and i'm gonna die. someday... yeah. :D

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I'd rather chase your shadow all my life than be afraid of my own I'd rather be with you I'd rather not know where i'll be than be alone and convinced that i know
And the world keeps spinning round my world's upside down and i wouldn't change a thing I've got nothing else to lose I lost it all when i found you and i wouldn't change a thing you and i wouldn't change a thing
Everything I know has let me down so i will just let go let you turn me inside out cause i know i'm not sure about anything at all but you wouldn't have it any other way
Spinning Turning Watching Burning all my life has found it's meaning walking crawling climbing falling all my life has found its meaning
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Okay, so the song only mostly applies, I still love Lifehouse. :)

Recovering slowly and praying for more recovery,
-Ray Ray

Straight Hate, Don't Procrastinate

2005-04-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I know i'm not alone in this world when I say that I sometimes wait a little too late to do my work. I mean, its done all the time. You know that your wearing your last clean outfit, and need to do your laundry but maybe you don't do it right away, thinkin, "I can do it later." The many things that I don't want to do, dishes, laundry, making the bed... all things that I put off till later, until I am wearing my last outfit, using some of the last dishes, or am about to goto sleep. But really, whats the thing that most people procrastinate on most? Well, I know at least with my friends, it would be: Homework. Everyone knows that "easy" assignment that won't take much time that they end up doing the night before it's due or 5 minutes before class...

Alright the last one is the one that I'm guilty of in a big way. You see... there is this class that I am...that requires me to write speeches...and well.... there was this speech due Wednesday...that I had all weekend to write...that I wrote .... Tuesday...between the hours of 9pm-12pm... yeah. It wasn't fun. It was hard on me, and was bad for my grades o-o Ahh. I definately learned a lesson with speeches: write them early, reform them often, practice consistantly.

With all that said, I mean, why is it that we procastinate to begin with? What makes things so tempting to do later things we can do today? I would say mostly pride, arrogance. We are too good, we are too important, we have so many things we would rather do then whatever we procastinate about. It brings us stress, and discomfort to think about and do the things that we don't want to do. But really, what does all this procrastination do to us? We're losing so much time and putting more stress on ourselves. Normally the time we could be doing the work we should, is spent rather on frivilous other things that are less important. Here are some quotes about procrastination that were fun to read:

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
- Professor Harrold Hill (The Music Man)
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
- Benjamin Franklin
You may be on the right track, but if you just sit there you'll get run over.
- Paul H. Dunn

Those were some fun food for thought, but in the process of finding those, I found a nice sermon by a man by the name of........Jonathan Edwards. I love that guy, and well I was excited. He did two sermons, both come in two parts, and a website has them hosted. I'll link it at the bottom and you guys can read them if you wish. Anyways, I didn't read the whole thing but this is a good jist of one:

The sermon I read most of, a sermon on Proverbs 21:1
"Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth."
This is defining the sin of "procrastination" as living one's life in such a way so as to depend on another day.
Edwards noted two things:
1. The precept, "not to boast of tomorrow"; i.e. not to speak or act as though it were our own. It is absurd for men to boast of that which is not theirs.
2. The reason given for this precept; "for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth". It is a good reason why we should not behave ourselves as though the morrow were our own, that indeed it is not; we are not sure of it; we have no hold of future time;

Both of those were pretty good things, and Edwards also explains that this doesn't mean to give up our responciblities, 'cause we still have our duties.
Prov. 6:6: "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest."
We still have to prepare for the future, not to give up as though we aren't going to live.

Edwards notes two things that Proverbs 27:1 seems to forbid, and that is,
Boasting of ourselves things that depend on the future, like being rich and needing more time to get more stuff, The other is boasting that we should live another day, that we deserve it.

That is just a taste of the things he wrote, and I would highly suggest reading the whole thing, it works better in context, but if I continue I will get so wrapped up I'd end up just copying everything Edwards says.

Anyways, all that really to say that, procrastination is a bad idea, and as Edwards showed to me through Proverbs: It is also a sin.

http://www.scripturestudies.com/Vol4/D5/d5_cla.html
http://www.scripturestudies.com/Vol4/D6/d6_cla.html

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You put me here for a reason You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it Long before I learned to breathe
Sometimes I feel disappointed By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom When I'm so wrapped up in mine?
In a Blink of an eye that is when I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye
And though I'm living a good life Can my life be something great?
I have to answer the question Before it's too late
If I give the very best of me That becomes my legacy
So tell me what am I waiting for? What am I waiting for?
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I like the fact there is music out there that can really say great things about God and work out as closing songs for my blogs. :)

Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,
Ray Rey

P. S. I just thought I'd note that this blog on procrastination, was procrastinated. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but I ... well, I wanted to do something, but I don't even remember what I did. How :( is that? Anyway, Happy Birthday Jesse!

Living for the Audience of One

2005-04-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I don't goto a public High school, and I don't have to deal with the daily peer pressure that someone at MP or LSHS or Snohomish would have to. I deal with a different kind of pressure, mainly because I love being rowdy, silly and the center of attention. I get the pressure of excelling in my classes, and still being someone that everyone will think is cool. You'd be surprised at how hard it is not to speak up in class. and if I say something that everybody doesn't like, it disturbs me, I just like making everyone laugh. But again, I have gone on my little bunny trail hunt, and will share what I have learned.

Well, basically, I thought of this as the Bible puts it: I am to Fear God and not to fear man. Nothing good comes from fearing man, it only leads to comprimising what I believe. When I fear man, instead of God, I am letting myself let everyone around choose what I say and do, not what God says in His Word. That said, how do I get over the fear of man?

Well, one thing that I was able to find, is that Jesus gives us the perfect examples of how to stand up against man. He didn't flinch in the temple, when he was entering a place where all the popular people were, where He could show Himself to be as cool as anyone else, instead He kicked everyone out and had them all dislike Him for it. He didn't care about anything but God's glory. And what about the many times that that the elders, priests and scribes came to Him and told Him to stop preaching or change His preaching? Thats a bunch of guys that are some of the most respected people in the nation, He could get a lot of glory from that, but Jesus stands firm, and doesn't compromise at all.

What other things are there that would help me get over the fear of Man? Well, the greatest thing should be to get a Fear of God! How can I fear man, when I truly fear God? If one truly fears God, then how can he fear anything else? And what about asking God for the wisdom to get by the situations that arise? If God gives me the wisdom to see the right ways, then I won't be using my own wisdom and seeing the ways I want to be right. And a last thing is to examine as to why I do fear man. What makes me feel like I need to please them?

Prayer is very pertinent in all of this. Prayer for a fear of God, to live and act like Jesus did, to have God give me the wisdom to do His will in all situations, and to repent of the things that make me want to please man to begin with. Prayer does work, and be whatever may happen, having a right relationship with God will help with anything that arises in this life.

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I come on my knees To lay down before you Bringing all that I am Longing only to know you Seeking your face And not only your hand I find you embracing me Just as I am
And I lift these songs To you and you alone As I sing to you In my praises make your home
To my audience of one, You are Father, and you are Son As your spirit flows free, Let it find within me A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more Has become my great reward To see your kingdom come And your will be done I only desire to be yours, Lord
So what could I bring To honor your majesty What song could I sing That would move the heart of royalty And all that I have Is the life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you My song with humility
And Lord as the love song Of my life is played I have one desire To bring glory to your name
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Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,
Ray Ray

Funky fresh

2005-04-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

Haha, well, I have spare time, and I've missed the last few days, bad Ray Ray, and though I have a lot on my mind, I have a few words I wrote that I'll publish though I'm never happy with my work.

Soli Deo Gloria
- Raymond Reynolds

My vision blurred, my mind deterred, lost and confused
My Savior keeps me safe, before I know I will be used
When He finally lets me hear the calls that He has wooed
I praise Him for His grace, and His grace alone
Sola Gratia

Heaven’s light has now burst into my eyes
I can perceive my wickedness, and my eternal demise
Yet again He is so faithful to let me realize
That Christ has saved me from my sin, and it is Him alone
Solus Christus

I have glimpsed God’s greatness and His consuming blaze
I must do something to be worthy; I must work though out my days
But no, Grace tells me it’s not my works, let myself I raise
I need only the faith He gives me, and that faith alone
Sola Fide

I trust now only in Truth, which God has given me
Something firm, and strong and, solid, not deceitful and worldly
I’m forever grateful, that He has given such Authority
So I can live my life by Scripture’s words, and Scripture alone.
Sola Scriptura

Though now that I can comprehend, how dare can I find
Anything in myself that deserves honor of any kind
Lord, never let me seek, what is Yours and never mine
Let me live for your Glory, and all to the Glory of God alone
Soli Deo Gloria

This, was written for a project in my English class. I wrote it around the end of February, it was fun and I'm glad I wrote it. I'm not a poet, I'm not really good at writing but I do have fun with words. And so I thought I'd share that today.

God bless,
Ray Ray

God forgives me, why can't I?

2005-04-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Strange, the topics that I think about. Quite different, on a daily basis. But I guess some things I've been thinking about a long time and I just never sat down and wrote them out before. Hmm..

Have you ever sinned against someone, done something that has a painful memory? Do you remember it even after you've gone to them, apologized and had them forgive you? Do you remember it even after you've gone to your hiding place, and asked God for forgiveness, and He gives it to you? It is a painful, painful thing to do, remember our own sins and use them against ourselves later. I recently have been contemplating several things that I regret, and yet the offended have forgive me, God has forgiven me, but I still bring back the memories and kick myself for them. When others sin against me, or have ill will to me, it is not hard for me to put it behind me, forgive them and move on. But when I sin against someone, it is so much harder to let go. Within the last few months, I've realized so many of my past mistakes that I've blamed others for that I know now were really my fault. I've gone to the people I hurt, they forgave me, and asked God for forgiveness, and He forgives me, but I've come to understand that I never really forgave myself.

There is no reason not to, and actually, God sets the example of forgiveness. He forgives us and remembers our sin no more.
Jeremiah 31:34 And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."
This is not to say that anyone should just forget everything he's ever done wrong, and not learn from the example...But rather, not to look at himself any worse for it. Not to remember it in a bad way against himself. God doesn't, why should I? God's forgiven me and will not use my sin against me, and neither should I use my sin to hurt myself.

One of the biggest things I've learned is how much work it is to remind myself of all the things I've done, and how much time I've wasted worrying about it. And I know I don't need to worry, God is in control (look at previous blog) By forgiving myself and moving on, I can spend that much more energy on praising God for His forgiveness and His gift of life. Choices will be made in life, I will have many roads to take, and I may take the wrong one at times, and make a poor choice.. But if I can let God forgive me, and forgive myself, I will be letting God give me strength instead of going on instead of trying by my own strength.

In studying how we should forgive ourselves, and remembering Mr. Higgins' speak about low-esteem in the Myth of adolescence series, I know that not only is remembering my past sins and using it against myself, not a good idea, it is a sin. Because as I'm spending all the time on myself, I'm being prideful. I'm saying that I'm better then God, I don't have to forgive myself... And that is not what I want at all, I want to be sanctified and praise God for being above all.

Looking back on this, I want to make sure I make clear that, by choosing not to remember past sins in a negative way, it is not true forgiveness. That is, forgiving myself, is not God forgiving me. Ultimately God is the only who forgives anyone, and it is the only forgiveness that we need. Christ has sufficiently paid for our sins, and no one need longer remember their sins against himself.

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It seemed like I had run out of second chances And they sentenced me to die
And I was just like a dead man walking I was running out of time
But you came to me and opened my eyes You gave me a brand new life
I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say I am innocent
Many years have passed since the day that I met you
But your words are still the same
And every time I find myself with joy or sadness I am calling out your name
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Amen.

Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,
Ray Ray

My control? Ha, its just an illusion

2005-04-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

1 Sam. 2:6-7, “The Lord kills and makes alive; He brings down to Sheol and raises up. 7The Lord makes poor and rich; He brings low, He also exalts."

How desperately easy it for me to just sit back and think about myself? How sickeningly vain am I when I think that I am in control of anything? I have spent more time worrying about the future, about my friends, about my parents, about my life, about girls, grades, games, and God then doing anything else. I can't verify that with any physical evidence, But I can give too many accounts of selfish depression because I couldn't so something... This is not the way I want to live my life. The Bible is showered in verses of God's sovergien control, proving that my control is truly just an illuison. I have time and I thought I'd show some of the things I'd looked up about God's control.

Of course, God IS in control, no matter what I tend to want to believe. No matter how hard I want to believe that I can do what I want to... I can't, but He can and He does.
Psalm 115:3, "But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases."
So, here I am, trying to do whatever I want, while God IS doing what He wants. I really am on the losing end of this. I can fight and fight and fight, but I will not win against His will. God's will, will be done, and yet I fight it. I fight it because I'm in the flesh, serving myself, looking out for my needs. I can try to do good things, but in the end, I'm trying to control the situation, and I fail.
Rom. 7:18, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not."

You know how much burden I can let be lifted from my shoulders if I could just sit down and believe that God is in control? Truly without a doubt just, Know that God is in control, and not worry? I pray that wholeheartedly God will put that into my head. Look at what Jesus says in Matthew,
Matt. 6:26, “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”
And I am! How great is that? Jesus says right there that God will be take care of me ... I can go through any crisis, be it my car exploding, or an accident, or even when things happen to those around me, I can go through these things with the comforting knowledge of God's hand in everything. With anything, I can praise and be thankful to God because His will will be done, and I will be taken care of. I need not worry about anything at all.
Matthew 6:34"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

One of the many amazing things, is that though God is in control, and has everything, EVERYTHING in His hands, He still allows us to ask Him for what is on our hearts.
1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.
Even Sunday, in John, it says
7If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
Not only do I not need to worry about anything, Not only is God in control of it all...But He allows me to ask Him for what's on my heart, providing that I am abiding in Christ and my will is aligned with His. I can't say how awesome that is to me...I've been sitting back, thinking of how I have no control, its all an illusion... yet God still wants me to ask Him for what I need. I can ask in confidence and know He hears me.

Its a really broad topic that is on my mind, and I'm sure there is plenty I missed and didn't add or maybe messed up on, but this is the glory of the blog, I can get responses and get imput. Most of my verses I got from a section of supporting verses that are orgaized at www.mslick.com which helped out a lot having it organized there.

I want to say that it is a different perspective of living, that is to live under the knowledge of God's ultimate control, and our lack of control. It really does calm me down in times that the world says to panic, and allows me to just praise God in everything.

The verse that I liked the most, I saved for last. It's a kind of closing verse, that I hope to apply to my life.
James 4:13-15, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow, we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and also do this or that.”

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This is no time for fear This is a time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here Carried away by the motion Hold on to all that you hide in your heart There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together
God is in Control, We believe that His children will not be forsaken,
God is in Control, We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him,
We know, ohh, God is in Control Ohh, God is in Control
History marches on There is a bottom line drawn across the ages Culture can make it's plan Oh but the line never changes No matter how the deception may fly There is one thing that has always been true It will be true forever
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Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,
Raymond

Hearing Truth Through The Crowd

2005-04-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Being in a public school, and a college at that, is not even close to the best daily environment for a Christian. There are many things around that just plague me down, that erode good intentions, and bring out the flesh that is so eager to show itself. Things like, Secular teachers who respect Christianity but still want you to do what they say whether it goes along with Christianity or not, homework assignments that require you to look up information that you don't believe is true, the classmates who are eager to tell their party stories and share their latest jokes they heard on Comedy Central and hear yours, the ladies, the women, who are so willing to flirt and flaunt themselves just for a little more attention that is so easy to give.

I didn't think about this until recently. I mean, I noticed all the bad stuff that I shouldn't get involved in when I first came, but I have never been as involved with the students, teachers and the school as much as I have this quarter. And contrary to what I first thought, it is not exactly the easiest ministry opportunity. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of non-Christians (which doesn't make ministering easy, but it does make it easy to find people), but they are already so callous to the Word and Gospel that I get easily discouraged from bringing the subject up, which leaves me all the more tempted to fall into their conversation, their entertainment. I'm still waiting for that person who I get a chance to share the Word and have them actually care. Fruitfulness has not been easy, but I've been noticing, especially after what Mr. Higgins touched on, that whenever I get the chance, it is I who is trying to do the work, and bare the fruit. And that has almost lead to failure, discouragement and temptation.

But I looked and saw and realized the Truth that is fighting for its way to show itself. There are quite a few professing Christians who attend the college, and of them, most of them seem like it. Having Christians opens up the opportunity to just fellowship with other Believers and see what God is doing in the lives of other Christians in the college. And sometimes those opportunities are really in-your-face right, jump at you. Today, in the lunchroom area, I saw the rare sight of a guy reading his Bible. Having someone read their Bible in front of everyone else who can see you is an encouragement, and assuming they have time, is a great chance to just see what they are reading and how the school is working for them and even encourage them in their faith. There is a group that is trying hard to make a stronghold into the college, and they are doing pretty well: Campus Crusaders for Christ meets regularly on Fridays and has handed out Bibles a few times. I've attended their meeting once, and though I can see their agenda, and the way that they spin things, It is still a chance to be around people who want to talk about the Bible, and fellowship with a bunch of people who are most likely Christians themselves.

I think definitely, the biggest light, the biggest surprise for me, is having Joann Sickles as my speech teacher. She is an amazing woman, and though she does curb her speech in class and uses well rounded examples and words to make sure everyone would be accepted, her desire to show that she loves God in her class and would want to talk to anyone about Him is amazing. She was the speech teacher at Los Angeles Baptist College (Now known as Master's College), for a few years, and was there the year MacArther took over. She's taught at quite a few different Christian Colleges, and it has been an interesting change for her to be teaching the community college. She was wondering why God had her there, but has understood and seen the things that He has done. Her class is a stand-out help in my school-life just by having a few minutes of conversation after-class and even the things we do in her class differ from the norm and encourage me.

The whole experience of being at the college has been great, and I've learned so much through all of my classes. But what I've been learning most, is not on the list for my homework. It is what God has been teaching me and that is how to be in the world but not of it. Temptations around me are rampant and very vivid, just trying to go through a day without a bit of conforming can be so difficult, but when I stop and realize everything that God established around me, and when I see everything He is showing me, I know that their is a lot of hope and love that is eager to help me, and glorify God. It is my prayer that he would continue that and even let me show Him glory in what I do, instead of fighting hard to find encouragement in others.

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Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in, onto the crashing waves
to step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is and He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed the waves they keep on telling me time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story, the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!" The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
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I thank Casting Crowns for their faithfulness to want to praise God with their music, and for their song which has helped make me think throughout the day of what voice I'm hearing and following.

Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,
Ray Ray

Fraudulent Usage of Crazinesstrixtorousulumocitytion

2005-04-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

The title stems from complete boredomancyestness

Okay, so whats up with the bloggin' craze? I see them everywhere, and the newspaper was saying how products are now being advertised and sponsored through learning about them in blogs. ...... Craziness! I want to know what man (or woman ) ....person.....decided that finding a new, hipper way to say "Online Diary" would appeal to all demographics and would become all so popular. I'm lazy and won't find out, but feel free to tell me!
Anyway, I do not have an excuse for NOT having a blog since I have a good hour or two a day to put into Internet research, chatting, surfing, and playing around with games, that I couldn't put a five-ten minute blog in a day or BI-daily or tri-daily or whatever. :P
The only thing I will find curious is exactly what I throw around on here, 'cause I write poems, lyrics and artsy words, and I like to just throw out things on my mind, things that have come through my devotions, plus things that happen to me throughout my day, so I'm an all around guy. :) We'll see what inspiration...*Gasp* rather, Illumination that I get as I open up the little blogger thingymabobber. but for today I say, adieu.

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It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?...It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood, A neighborly day for a beauty. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
....I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you. I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you. So, let's make the most of this beautiful day. Since we're together we might as well say: Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? Won't you please, Won't you please? Please won't you be my neighbor?

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I don't know why that's my closing song, but it is. 0-0
Praying faithfully for a heart of faith,

Ray Ray